Return of the Ketchup King

Three hundred million volts of electricity lit up the Alvin sky as I struggled to push open my van door against the gust of wind.  A storm was imminent and the order was already late.  Service at Kelly’s was quick and courteous unlike the Mindflayer esk clouds looming above me.  As I secured the delivery on my passengers side I heard the directions yet again on the app, “ask for lots of ketchup.”

This was not Las Flores this time but I got that feeling again.  Lightning striking twice?  I checked the address and I was sure of it.  The Ketchup King was hungry, his food was getting cold and I didn’t get extra ketchup!

Mindflayer sky?

I quickly dashed inside to request extra sauce before the rain came thundering down.  As I got ready to pull out I began to think about my original article Ketchup King.  What would he do if he knew I turned him into a story?  Would he read it and be like “okay, cool” or instead be insulted by the caricature.  I decided to find out by scribbling down the name of my website with the menu options to get to my story.  The ripped piece of paper could then be handed to him with the packets.  Was I making the right decision?

The door was locked to his business as I believe it usually is.  He was not at the door however to unlock it this time.  Seconds later a couple departed and I stepped inside.  I scoped out the room and did not recognize anyone as the usual customer.  Maybe he was in the back?  I began to send him a text that his food had arrived when he walked up.  I placed his food on the table along with the ketchup and note.  It appeared that his hand was going for his wallet for the five dollar extra tip but I just thanked him and abruptly left.  The weather was getting worse and I honestly didn’t want to just stand there waiting for extra money when he doesn’t really owe me extra.  That would have made me feel rude.  So did he read my post?

No.  I don’t believe he did. I checked my site for a few days after and no new traffic.  A king’s time is valuable and it’s not to be wasted on a pauper’s posting.  To think, he might have found it funny.  Oh well, I guess he’ll have to ketchup on it later.

If you enjoyed the article please feel free to subscribe via email for notifications of new articles. Also visit the Shop with unique “Dad” merchandise sold through

Published by Charlie Layman

I like pro wrestling, Star Wars, fighting games, and martial arts movies. I have twelve years experience in grocery stores and eight in inventory for metal fabrication. My dream is to write full time as a career.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: