CAVEMAN COLLISION

“Did cave men run into each other,” asked my four-year-old? 

   “Of course not, that would be stupid,” I replied.  But were cave dwellers really that dumb?  Other animals do it.  Could they, do it?  Is this why they had short life spans?

We watch creatures head butt each other all the time on discovery channel.  Mountain goats, antler locking deer, and hippos all use this as a dominance tactic.  Rams are the hardest hitting with up to 800 psi per hit!  Imagine the different reasons cave men could have run headfirst to be the winner of an argument.

   “Hey Fred, you want a Pa-kawn?”

   “It’s actually called a Pee-can.”

   “No, it’s not!” 

   And know we end up with Vulture bait.  But would this kill them?

“Ramses is the best.” (-Nacho Libre)

Cave men’s skulls were not necessarily thicker.  They had bigger brains but utilized it less.  I’m pretty sure running head-to-head was not their form of resolving conflicts.  If it was, it probably ended in a no contest.  Their last contest.

Homo Sapien vs Homo Erectus

Cartoons depict old, wise cave men that know about revolutionary things like fire and wheels.  How old though was the oldest cave man?  I found that their average life expectancy was about eighteen!  Not sure about the data on this but if cave men indeed ran into each other, this supports their early deaths.

I’m Too Young to Die

   So now that I have done some research into cave men, my answer has changed.  I am going to renege my previous answer.  Cave men did run into each other.

Published by Charlie Layman

I like pro wrestling, Star Wars, fighting games, and martial arts movies. I have twelve years experience in grocery stores and eight in inventory for metal fabrication. My dream is to write full time as a career.

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